An often asked quetion: “Do you get lonely spending so much time alone in remote places?”
Being “alone” and being “lonely” are not the same thing. Some of my loneliest times have been when I’ve been surrounded by people with whom I had little or no connection. Loneliness is less about quantity of people and more about quality of interaction. Do I get lonely? No not really…
One of the most beautiful and therapeutic things about making my way around the world as a solo traveller is the quality of interactions. Short conversations with random people on the road or catching up with long term friends for whom I’ve have endured all kinds of challenges to reach.
Early in my trip, in Northern France, I met Michel on a cycle path as I was taking a photo.
An 87 year old ex-marine, he was over 30 yeas my senior. His English was as good as my French…poor, but we shared some kms and laughs together and managed to connect through repetition, gesture, translations apps and just just enjoy the fact that we were cycling together for a while. He was keen to point me in the direction of a route which was quieter than the one I had planned so I deferred to his wisdom and, after accepting half of his chocolate supply, we went our separate ways. I felt lifted for the rest of the day. Nothing says welcome to my country like simple acts of kindness.
There have been those who have simply dropped everything to help when things have gone pear-shaped. I arrived at a bicycle shop in Belfort South Eastern France with a broken Derraileur having trudged 10km through the snow to catch a train from Lure.
David got to work on my bike straight away. There was no “come back in 3 days” or “I’ll give you a call when it’s ready” just, yup ill get it done right now. An hour later I as on my way again. As the unrelated acts of kindness continued it gave cause for reflection, what would I have done in their place?
It was a similar story in Rome when I visited Doctor Bike and Miguel got my bike fully serviced within a day over the busy Christmas period.
It has not just been bicycle shops where folks have gone the extra mile for this ragged looking traveller. After 4 pretty uncomfortable days traversing the remote mountains of Northern Greece. I was so excited to see the small flashing lights of a restaurant passing through the small village of Milea. I stopped for something to eat having been surviving for days on stale pastries and bad coffee.
Klement and Margerita offered me the warm floor of their restaurant after their son had phoned around all of the local hotels and B&B and found there to be nothing within reachable distance that day.
The list is endless…and repeats everywhere.
Birol owns a restaurant in the Turkish border town of Ipsala. He drove me back to my hotel on several occasions after dining at his restaurant. He didn’t need to, I wasn’t expecting it but giving lifts to folks walking along a road seems to be a cultural phenomenon in Turkiye. It happened a lot whenever I was walking.
And then there are the friends you have not seen or spoken to for years. People with whom you’ve connected, worked and played but fallen out of touch. Folks with histories to catch up on. These moments were particularly impactful as my route through Europe was planned with Friends in mind. To see familiar faces and be offered refuge, after being “out there” in the elements to catch up on stories and reforge old friendships has made for some really special moments.
I caught up with the Sinclairs in their home of Milan. We worked together for several years in the United Arab Emirates.
Roberto and I worked as educators together in Kathmandu, Nepal. We hadn’t had much contact for 8 years before we caught up again in Rome. It was an amazing two days.
Lonely? Nah, I’m quite happy in my own company for a lot of the time but when you have spent extended periods of time alone, the occasions when you get to connect with individuals and small groups, become really precious. This has been a feature of this and every other bicycle journey I’ve been on in very country I have toured in.
Meetings are opportunities to catch up with old friends, learn new things from new people and maybe pass on some of your own wisdom and, perhaps most valuably, simple sit and listen to someone with a completely different world view. Maybe, with each meeting, just maybe, you will allow yourself to be changed.
Strangers helping strangers. It’s a thing! More to come.
